Blank again

So I have a new canvas and have had since Christmas, even while working on "The heart of it" i was contemplating what to place on this one, and i have decided to do something that is a little different for me and that is a self portrait...of sorts.

a rough draft

So when I was doing that (the rough draft) I also felt compelled to write something, so I grabbed my Journal and let it flow and what follows is what eventuated, a little note some may be offended by use of language and think I am a little unwell but I am ok with that...
 "3001110000

This is me, this is who I am, my portrait, many faces, talk to me about one thing now and talk to me again tomorrow about the same thing you may just get a separate answer. Out of politeness I will not tell you to fuck off, but I will be happy to complain about, become anxious and stress about you, but i will not confront you. It's not that I don't like conflict, I love it, to yell and scream it feels good. To hear someone yell, scream, fight, fuck, it is exciting, as you know.

I know this because just like you I was born into a fallen world, where the lie is blatant and the truth is concealed in a jungle of dogma. Live life that's what I am doing. Allowing fear, pain, hurt, worry and all the other little creatures come and sit with you, learn their ways. They know yours and will happily abuse that knowledge, to drive you deeper to take you further away from that which loves you.

He beckons, he calls, he screams, he shouts...and still we walk OUR way.

Do you know why your here? I don't. But know this there is someone who wants you here, someone who calls you by your name, who knows things only you know. Listen, listen carefully, do you hear the whisper, I do and you know what? I walk the other way....why? Because I fear when there is no need to fear.

Fear, like lies, is a game of domino's, tip one over and they're all going to fall, believe one fear, listen to one lie and your gone....

Hear the truth and the truth will set you free. I don't know about you but for me the truth is a reality and that reality brings me a life of freedom. Freedom not to do what I want, but a freedom that gives me a choice, a choice to continue to walk blind or the choice to call out...Abba father, Abba father...Knowing he is willing to disgrace himself just to embrace me, a wretched man."