The following piece is excerpts from journal entries edited and tied together, to form a view I am currently still processing...
I'm coming into a consciousness of something I have dreamed of. I'm stepping out, well that's what I feel, I see a pot stirring. My spirituality lies in "Christianity" that's where it was birthed. I was "blessed' to have gifts/talents given to me by the creator, by "God". In pentecostal churches is where it grew , but recently in the past 2 years I have been awakened, had an unveiling you might say to the pharisitical and legalistic manner of these establishments not just through personal experiences, but from what I understand as the 'Spirit of God'. My personal opinion is that the current state of the church is infected with cancers, all are affected, to varying degrees yes, but all are affected, even myself. It is said that we are one body with many parts even if you are a finger nail, a hair, a skin cell. Your part of that body, that life, feeding on others energy and feeding others with your energy both negative and positive. Hence why everybody is affected.
Unfortunately, you might say, I do not want much to do with the church now. I've pulled out all I see is "plastic people", I dont want just sunday catch ups sharing the regrets and pains of the past or the hopes and dreams of the future. I want now to be the focus. What is it now that is giving me pain, joy, release, excitment, fear, anger? I want to show my pain, my joy, my fear, my anger. But do it with one important teaching...love...if i go out angry and wanting people know how I feel and making them feel "bad", I am nothing but a self centred ego-maniac looking to eat your energy...
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